So at this point of my story I’ve moved back home after almost 2 years of homelessness. I’ve went to prom, graduated, had an open house, graduated basic training and AIT. I’m a real soldier now at my National Guard unit that is set to deploy the next year. So training and more Training is ahead. I’m starting my freshman year at a Community College for Education.

I decided on a bad decision to take out Financial Aid and a student loan so I could get my own place. Me and my mother just couldn’t get it right. With my dad fresh from Iraq he refused to be apart of it. So I did me and left. I’ve always been great at running but this time I ran so far she needed a passport to get me. I filled out my active duty paperwork and picked Germany as my duty station. I literally signed June 12 and by July 20 I was at Fort Jackson transitioning to Europe.

This was a good choice I met my best friend DJ and he made me feel normal and okay to be weird. We also had a weird relationship. I loved sleeping naked but I didn’t trust people so I’d sleep naked next to him. No sex no nothing just a friend being. We still talk to this day and I’ve visited him and still no sex just friends. Now we had a slip eventually after making it back alive from Iraq but that’s another story. I am NOT attracted to him at all he just makes me feel safe and NOT many people outside my father does. Anyway. So yes I’m at Jackson waiting to get on that long flight to Nurnberg Germany to hit my statio and be told in One month you will be in Iraq. I’m like let’s GOOOO!! It’s what I enlisted for but let’s say I didn’t know what war was really till the bullets start flying, trucks blown up, fires, dismounting vehicles, picking up body parts of those killed, raiding houses, searching women with my hair in places I’d never wanna see, fire pits of burning flesh, cries of mothers and children, blood on ground and a hurting trigger finger. WAR is sooo much more than I expected….

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