Fair Trade

I got you and I’ll never let you fall

I remember the day the man who I’d call father knocked on the door. I answered it and he asked to speak to my grandmother. I thought it was a deal being made and I was ready to fight of course but that’s nowhere near what it was. This man was offering me a babysitting job to help out with his 3 children. I was super surprised and he took me to meet his wife and family. Now imagine seeing someone that you knew wasn’t nice and them asking you for a job. When I walked in and before he could introduce me his wife said, “Oh Hell NO, not that little bad ass girl.” Man if he didn’t smile a smile and whisper something to her. She said, “You better NOT hurt my children, I’ll be watching you.” I said, “I’ll protect them like they are mine, it’s what I do.” I don’t know what happened that day but this 13 year old, expelled child got a legit job; helping. I’d stay there for days and never go back to my grandma, I felt like I was home and I had a family. No one was trying to get anything out of me but they praised me, paid me and educated me. It took 2 years for the board to reinstate me and while I waited I did my course work and turned in; all A’s of course. While I was there I cleaned, babysat, laughed, cried and felt normal. I eventually called them dad and Mrs.T then mom. I had a connection with my father and I was on cloud 9. One day when I was at my grandma’s they were trying to bribe me to stay at home and not go back to my new family. I yelled NO, they hit me and threw money at me. Little did they know my father had a set up for them; we recorded everything. My father knocked on the door and I threw their money in their face. My face was red from being hit by those people; it was funny because if I wanted to I could have dropped them all. My father told me hands off, he had a plan. So when he came in he asked, “What’s going on?” They said nothing. My father spoke freely like he wasn’t in the house of a Queenpin and I was happy. He said he had taken me away from there and I would not be returning. His words, “I don’t need no clothes,  money, nothing, me and my wife will provide all she needs because this aint it.” We walked out of there head held high and I got into his car and we drove off. 

My fresh start. These two strangers invested in me and took a risk. My mom worked on my appeal to get back in school and my attitude. I tried to blend in but let’s say it was hard. I’d get in trouble for being on the block and working at the store. So the store was a place we moved product through however it was an actual store. I’d stock beer, soda and chips on the weekend and get paid a good rate. My main job was to ensure that no product was stolen. My parents got wind of it and I had to quit and say bye to my boys. Now my dad isn’t as clean as his bald head. He himself had a bad past too so he knew all too well what I was dealing with. He taught me to write my feelings, fears, triumphs, needs, wants all in a journal and then he helped me make them into poems. I still write poems till this day. It’s how I feel free at the moment. So I write now because of my father, almost 22 years later I’m still using his outlet to make me feel complete. 

It’s not who you have, it’s all about how they invest in you. This broken teen needed to be saved but it’s NEVER that easy…..

Headed back to Germany Jan 10′
Family pic Spring 09
Father’s Day 2019

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