Being Strong

Some words are just foreign to people especially the word NO!!!

Oh man all I heard was that familiar deep voice say, “Why won’t you just marry me.” My mom replied, “I want more for my kids, I can’t.” Of course I cheered inside but that wasn’t the answer he wanted. Now this is what I can tell you. I saw the worst part of my mom however I can’t tell you the time of day everything is a bit fuzzy. So let me fill in what I can. This man was grumpy. My mom wanted me at school, I recall her and my brother getting me there. However I didnt trust that man so I snuck my butt out of that stupid school to go check on my mother. 

My school was maybe a 10 minute walk which was a 5 minute run for me even on my worst days. I ducked between cars and objects so no one saw me and I noticed my grandpa pulling into his driveway. I wonder where he went but my mom was priority. My brother was in the high chair eating when I snuck my way in. My mom said, “Red this ain’t school.” Let me tell you she looked scared. The man we will call him Phil because that’s the name of this punk. Phil and my mom got into an argument and my mom fell down the stairs. He called out, “ Red go get your grandpa your mama’s hurt.” I grabbed the lil man and sprinted to my grandpa who came with his medical kit. He tried to patch my mama up and stop the bleeding but he said, “We need to get her to a hospital.” Of course Phil wasn’t having that he sent my Grandpa home and no sirens came. I wanted to leave my mom but I was afraid to, how selfish of me, I could have helped her by calling 911. My mom half coherently said to me, “Take care lil man, Go.” I grabbed my lil brother and went to hide. If I knew one thing I knew when my mama was telling me to do something. Little did she know where I would go. WHAM went my mom’s body down the stairs again. Thump, UGH is what I heard. I held my tears in and my brother’s mouth tightly. No one knew we were there. Kick, Kick, more ugh and ahhs. A hoe and a shovel, HIT, HIT, HIT, Knock,Knock, Knock. He went up the stairs. I crawled to my mom and held her hand, she said, “Go, take care of…..” I heard his steps and went back to hide. Lil man had tears but not me, I had to be strong for him and her. I settled in my spot. One more hit and she was gone. I watched my mom take her last breath, spewing her last bit of blood. He was frantic; he looked like a chicken with his head cut off. He grabbed a shovel and pried open a few stair panels and tried to stuff my mother in. He threw her body in the washer and turned it on. He looked arounds and saw the dirt and buried her body pieces from the washer in there. I watched her get buried and wouldn’t shed a tear because I had to be strong for her and the lil man. She was gone, whatever gone was to a 6 year old. He went to wash up and start calling my name. 

I eventually came to his call with my brother and he asked a neighbor named Tex to take him home. We rode with him. He instructed Tex to take us home when the Granny bus arrived. He did so.

When my Granny saw us she said, “Phil done called and said yo mama ran off.” I put my head down and held my brother tight. Rule number 1: Don’t talk to adults unless they ask you something. Or you will get BEAT. So I waited a week until my uncle asked me where my mom was. I walked Uncle A to the dirt and began uncovering my mothers body parts. I said, “She’s right here Uncle A, but she’s dirty.” He quickly grabbed me and phoned the police.

Life isn’t supposed to be so drastic but I didn’t let that hold me down….

Me and Lil Man. We made it no jail, no dropping out of school, College grads who would have thought we’d make it after this.

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